what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
