Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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