Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
