You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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