i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
