I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize