Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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