The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
