absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
