I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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