I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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