sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
