even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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