He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
