I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
