All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
