These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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