We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
