He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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