And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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