I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
