He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
