I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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