NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
