I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize