Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
