Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there's paper in my vomit.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize