is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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