what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
