he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
