Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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