I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize