See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
