dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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