Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
