Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
