What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
