wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
