so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
