butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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