i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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