but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
