whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Someone shit on the floor
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize