he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I can't put those talents on a resume
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
