He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
