if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
