No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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