And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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