Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
