Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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