the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize