My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
