I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
