Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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