what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
