he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
