I love black thongs
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
