Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
