haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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