woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
