I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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