u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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