I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
