I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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