took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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