Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
