He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
