Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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