sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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