new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
