Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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