You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Randomize
