I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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